is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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