You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
