I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Fuck appropriateness.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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