you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
