He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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