Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm both gender and math confused
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
