Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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