I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Randomize
