Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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