Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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