But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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