I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Let's get the cat blown out
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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