She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize