First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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