currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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