I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
