Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
