these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
