I looked at my own cervix.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
