I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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