i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
