the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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