How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
A bitchslap is in order.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
