at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
