i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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