covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
