It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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