i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
