he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize