some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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