Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Everclear isn't food dammit
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
