Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
