why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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