discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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