is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
