I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
