You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
