So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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