brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
