if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
