I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
