What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
