yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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