It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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