Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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