if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Your dad touched me again.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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