i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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