i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
