There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
