I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
