How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
