Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
