This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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