When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
