I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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