Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
