Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
