Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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