the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
