He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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