Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
