Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize