oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
